Trump The Freedom Fighter. Really?

Actually, fighting AGAINST fundamental freedoms of the First Amendment

DOWNUNDER DISPATCH: LAUGH OR CRY
Little Sam got to the trash before Pam Bondi got trashed

TEACHER
That looks very suspicious, Sam.

LITTLE SAM
I found this piece of paper scrunched up in Pam Bondi’s trash bin before Uncle Donald sacked her as Attorney-General. See how she wrote across it in felt pen and big letters, “Trump is a wacky nutjob.”

This is what he had written for her to change the Constitution, which can only be changed by Congress or a convention. Even I knew that.

Here it is:

I, President Donald J. Trump hereby declare the following alterations to the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, to be effective immediately.

(DJT additions are in italics)

Freedom of religion – You can practice any religion, as long as it is Christianity or Judaism. Catholicism as a Christian faith is OK, as long as the President gets along with the Pope. Catholic (or any other) Mexicans will be handcuffed and marched south over the border. Any other religions, like Islam, followed by people who do not have white skin will be banned. Offenders will be deported, even if they are American citizens.

Freedom of speech – You can express ideas and opinions without undue government restriction but if the President catches you saying nasty things about him or his policies, you will be locked up for the term of your natural life.

Freedom of the press – You can publish information and opinions without censorship unless it is fake news. The President will have the overriding power to decide what is fake and what is real. Journalists who persistently upset the President by writing the truth, will face the death penalty by firing squad.

Freedom of assembly – You can gather peacefully for protests or demonstrations as long as they are pro-Republican rallies. Democrat rallies are prohibited. Any displays of dissent against the reigning President will be dealt with by police using rubber bullets. If crowds fail to disperse, real bullets will be used.

Freedom to petition – You can complain about or seek changes from the government but don’t bother wasting your time.

TEACHER
Sam, you should become an anonymous-alias-super-sleuth reporter for maybe MSNBC – if they are willing to run with your mock-up satire.