Little Sam Turns Scriptwriter

More US political satire and humor featuring Little Sam spilling the beans from the White House. Watch for each episode’s school blackboard.

Introducing Ollie VANCE and Stan TRUMP – perfect casting !

TEACHER
Wipe that smirk off your face, Sam.

LITTLE SAM
Can’t do that Teacher - it’s stuck on permanently today.

I watched an old Laurel and Hardy movie yesterday. Then I heard Uncle Donald and JD Vance having a fight - and then I got inspired.

I decided to impress you. I wrote a script, and I even brought you some popcorn.

Here we go:

Ollie VANCE
Well, here’s a nice mess you’ve gotten us into now, Stan.

Stan TRUMP
I wanted to bring about a regime change in Iran.

Ollie VANCE
Nice try Stan. You killed old Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and now his son has taken over - more determined and entrenched than ever. So much for a regime change.

Stan TRUMP
Operation Desert Storm was an amazing success. We bombed the shit out of ‘em.

Ollie VANCE
And now, we have to spend $300 billion to fix the infrastructure damage.
The Islamic Republic has got you by the balls, and you know it.

Stan TRUMP
I started the war - with a bit of encouragement from Benjamin - to make sure Iran never gets nuclear weapons.

Ollie VANCE
I told you right from the start, you had no hope – and I was right.

Iran will never give up nuclear ambitions, especially after you threatened: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again.”

They will never forget that dumbass threat of yours. Now, they hold all the cards and we are fucked. We are in a worse tactical position than when we started.

This ‘Memorandum of Understanding’ is a euphemism for surrender. You make out it’s a victory and you’re the big hero, while you make me look like a clown negotiator.

Stan TRUMP
I must say that red nose does suit you. Listen Bozo, I wanted to get hold of Iran’s oil, and I really wanted to stop China’s access to it.

Ollie VANCE
Well Mr Einstein, Iran still has its oil, and they are controling the Strait of Hormuz. Our facilities in the Gulf States have had the shit blown out of them by Iran.
You have turned the world oil market on its head.

You didn’t expect that did you, Albert ?

Stan TRUMP
Listen here Bozo - don’t call me Albert Einstein.
The war seemed like a good idea at the time - I had a good vibe about it.

Ollie VANCE
This conflict has become a Republican electoral disaster.
The midterms are going to turn America into a sea blue.

What has this war achieved, for Christ’s sake ?

Stan TRUMP

It has kept attention off the FBI’s Epstein files.

LITTLE SAM
Then I turned on the TV news for a remarkably convenient coincidence for Keogh, the writer of this rubbish.

NEWS JUST IN

The Supreme Leader of Iran, Mojtaba Khamenei has offered to be the face of a 300-billion-dollar Republican advertising campaign for the November midterm elections, declaring that the war with Iran was all fake news and that Donald Trump is the best president to ever grace the White House.

The president announced on Truth Social that he has accepted the offer, on the understanding that all US military aid to Israel will be permanently ceased.

The Supreme Leader has also offered JD Vance lessons in negotiation skills in return for lifting US restrictions on the importation of uranium.

Vice President Vance refused to agree, stating, “That’s dumb. There’s nothing wrong with my negotiation skills.” He further noted, “Besides, we don’t have any specific ban on Iran like that.”

TEACHER
I’m the teacher, but I always seem to be the one getting an education.

Thank you, Sam.