Jim (yes or no) Chalmers gets strung up in age-old question

WARNING: CONTAINS CLICHES AND RHETORIC

How long is a piece of string? This age-old question was asked in jest by a mischievous journalist at a recent Jim Chalmers door stop.
The treasurer is known to become irritated when pushed for clear, definitive answers – particularly those awkward yes or no ones.

Journo: Treasurer, how long is a piece of string?
What a coincidence! Only yesterday I saw a piece of string and decided to measure it, just in case anybody ever asked me that very question.
I wrote it on a piece of paper. Let me see. Here it is!
A piece of string is 28 centimetres long.

Journo: So, you can unequivocally confirm that a piece of string is 28 centimetres long.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. What I am saying is that a piece of string could be 28 centimetres long, but I cannot give you a definitive yes or no answer.
I need to take a measured approach on this matter of national significance.

Journo: Can you clarify this? Is a piece of string 28 centimetres long? Yes or no?
It’s too early to speculate. You are trying to put words in my mouth.

Journo: Treasurer, we appear to have the $60 million question on our hands, have we not?
I don’t deal in hypotheticals, but being treasurer as I am, I will take this proposal to the next cabinet meeting. I will recommend spending $60 million on a Senate inquiry to once and for all establish just how long a piece of string actually is.

So as of now, it would be inappropriate for me to comment. It’s now a matter for the enquiry, if there is one – and if there is one, it could take years.

In closing, let me be absolutely clear about this.

Journo: Clear about what?
As I’ve made clear, it’s too early to speculate.