Little Sam Loses Sleep
By divine intervention Jesus Trump style.
WARNING! The following is sacrilegious – inspired by Donald Trump.
TEACHER
You look very tired this morning, Sam.
LITTLE SAM
Last night Uncle Donald came into my bedroom and woke me up.
He started telling me he was Jesus Christ and showed me a picture. Then he pointed out the window and said, “See that big wooden cross out there on the lawn.”
I said, “But there isn’t any cross.”
Then he said, “Pope Leo tried to crucify me just because I called him weak on crime. He nailed me on the cross. Look at these holes in my hands and feet.”
I said, “But there aren’t any holes.”
He said, “See, I told you – he is weak on crime. He couldn’t even nail me.”
I said, “You are fucking crazy. I’m calling a fucking ambulance to take you to the fucking funny farm.”
He said, “Don’t you dare even try. I have the White House surrounded by the entire United States Marine Corps.”
Then Melania came in and said, “Come to bed Jezuz. I’m in ze mood for zome divine zex.”
And he left in an unholy rush.
After that, I couldn’t get back to sleep with all the noise coming from their fucking bedroom.
TEACHER
I must ask you to fucking watch your fucking language, Sam.
LITTLE SAM
Give me a break!
Don’t you dare fucking tell me it was nothing to lose fucking sleep over.
We have a very serious mental health crisis at the White House.