I Couldn’t Give a Stuff, I’m Voting For Pauline
WARNING: READING MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this inaugural meeting of the I Couldn’t Give a Stuff Society, which explains why I am speaking to an empty hall, because nobody could be stuffed turning up, despite my advertising campaign.
Didn’t you notice the poster in the back lane behind the fish and chip shop?
I see that Pauline Hanson has just arrived – how appropriate. Welcome Ms Hanson. Please sit anywhere. As you all know, Pauline is surging in the popularity polls.
My speech tonight is about politicians. Ah yes, I can sense your delight that I am going to talk about a topic you truly couldn’t give a stuff a about, which is what the I Couldn’t Give a Stuff Society is about – giving people what they want, which are topics they couldn’t give a stuff about.
Yes, there’s method in my madness. It is interesting how people readily talk about politicians, beginning by saying that they couldn’t give a stuff about them? I exclude Ms Hanson from this.
We all know that politicians talk nonsensical gobbledegook in such convoluted ways that they contradict themselves, make no sense and basically confuse the crap out of the voting public? I exclude Ms Hanson from this.
God help me if I ever stooped to that level linguistic contortionism. People might not give a stuff about me if I did.
The recent shenanigans within the remnants of the Liberal – National, on again, off again Coalition has the Australian public even more disillusioned with pollies.
Voter disillusionment with parliament generally, can have the effect of driving people to vote for Pauline Hanson as an automatic reaction. It is called the I Couldn’t Give a Stuff, I’m Voting For Pauline Syndrome.
A vast number of disillusioned hard-right Liberal and National voters have become subject to this syndrome, although they have a reason. They are saying, “I’m going to vote for Pauline. She is doing what our mob should be doing.”
Across much of the middle-ground electorate, the tendency is to throw caution to the wind, to be rebellious against the status quo, to show no respect for the norms of governance and to disregard the notion of social stability. In short, the prevailing attitude is to adopt the great mantra of I Couldn’t Give a Stuff, I’m Voting For Pauline.
The reality is that Pauline Hanson could become leader of a new opposition – The One Nation Opposition - with a voter base devoid of “social conscience”.
People who believe in this strange notion called “social conscience” are appalled that Ms Hanson does not give a stuff that her policies are blatantly regressive and socially dangerous, particularly on immigration. She is proud of them, and they have gotten her to where she is today – on the verge of political legend status. All because the average Australian couldn’t give a stuff. Bravo!
What’s wrong with Pauline wearing a burqa into the Senate? What’s wrong with her having no regard for the truth? What’s wrong with her saying “there are no good Muslims”.
What’s wrong with good old-fashioned racist slurs? If it was good enough for the wogs and dagos from Italy and Greece, it is perfectly acceptable for the Muslims, Indians, Africans and Asians to be targeted with hateful slurs today.
Who gives a stuff if we hurt their precious feelings? This is our country and we decide on what terms we speak to these wannabe Aussies. Although watch out for Section C of the Racial Discrimination Act.
So, Ms Hanson, do you have anything to say?
“No, I don’t. I couldn’t be stuffed because I’ve got the guts and there’s no room left for taxidermy.”
Ah that’s the way. That’s my girl! I can see how you have gotten to be so influential with an extraordinary intellect like that. You could be prime minister one day.
In conclusion, I say to each and every one of you who couldn’t be stuffed coming here tonight, keep up the good work. Australia needs people just like you.
I look forward to not seeing all of you next week when the topic will be climate change.