“ … but to steal their land is why we came all this friggin’ way,

if you don’t mind"

Painting: Mitchell Library, State Library of New South Wales

“I would like to begin by acknowledging the Traditional Owners of the land on which we gather today.”

When Sussan Ley first uttered these ominous words, bigots of Australia (a very sizeable grouping) feared a catastrophic Coalition softening of anti-Indigenous sentiment.

The acknowledgement began Ley’s first address to the National Press Club as Liberal leader, which became known as her “I’m not Peter Dutton speech”.

Flying in the face of Coalition conservatives, Sussan Ley continues her brazen stance, undaunted by the risk of losing electoral support.

In an exclusive interview, Sussan has now revealed her reasoning: “I was made aware of an historic document, recently found in an antique rum keg at The Rocks. It is the actual speech made by Governor Arthur Phillip on the landing of the first fleet at Sydney Cove. Phillip must have been psychic because he used exactly my words of Acknowledgement of Country.”

Phillip apparently then said, “There shall be no maltreatment or genocide of indigenous peoples. Their children shall not be stolen, and there will be full reconciliation.”

“On reading this, I decided that a softening of Liberal policy on Aborigines was a bit overdue.” Ley said.

Asked about reconciliation, she explained that Phillip actually said, “There will be full reconciliation, but to steal their land is why we came all this friggin’ way, if you don’t mind.”