Americanisation of the Vatican underway

WARNING: CONTAINS IRREVERENT SATIRE

Original image: Canva

Americanisation of the Vatican is well underway as recently elected, US-born Pope Leo XIV announces drive-through confessions.

To be known as McSinner’s, this divine fast-food outlet will cater for hungry sinners who have no time to waste.

The slogan is to be, Yield to Temptation at McSinner’s.

The outlet is due to open outside St Peter’s Basilica within months, to be followed soon after by another venture called The Holy Donut.

Swarms of pilgrims from around the globe are expected to arrive in Rome for the grand opening which will see Pope Leo himself hear confessions for a mere 2500 Euros (AU$4500).

Confessing is hungry work. This amazing free introductory food offer will satisfy two classes of ravenous penitents:

1. Confessors of non-mortal sins will each receive a free 2-person bundle of their choosing.

2. For those guilty of mortal sins, a free 6-person bundle awaits them.

With every absolution, each patron will also receive a 600ml bottle of holy water. This is definitely not for human consumption. If unsure, check the label.

One elated Vatican insider was heard to say, “These will be very welcome money-spinners for us because God knows, we need the money.”

COMMENT – LET’S LIGHTEN UP …

In this depressing world, so full of bigotry, hatred, suffering and death, now seems like a good time to laugh at ourselves for the pettiness of our oh-so-precious sensitivities, including religious.

And while we are at it, let’s give absurd political correctness a kick right where it’s needed.

Let’s lighten up without losing deference to the real present-day victims, especially in Gaza.